Ungreasy Misfortunates
by SweetDreamsAreMadeOfNaruto
Summary: Severus Snape comes to class with new-washed hair. His students react accordingly.


Severus was unusually irritated as he walked towards his class that morning. He was almost ten minutes late – he'd _never_ been that late before – and he'd gotten less sleep than he should have, staying up all night to brew potions on Dumbledore's orders.

But that wasn't the main reason for his bad temper.

As he walked inside the classroom fell eerily silent, and only a few gasps was heard from some of the students. Every eye followed him as he walked to the front of the classroom, staring at him with an interest most had never showed before. Some were openly gawking.

Severus stoked a stand of disturbingly clean hair behind his ear.

"Before you assume otherwise," he practically snarled, "No. I haven't taken any particular care to groom myself for _you_."

Most people would find it an embarrassment to go somewhere greasy, however, under his students' watchful attention, Severus felt uncomfortable for an entirely different reason – because he was clean.

"You aren't special. So get that out of your head. I merely had to take emergency shower because of an unavoidable accident" – his potion had blown up, covering him in toxic, but he wasn't about to admit that, because that was truly _shameful_ , besides it was the first time he'd made a mistake like that in over a decade – "and I expect this" – he flipped his hair with an irritated flick of his head, and could have _sworn_ some of the girls were swooning –"will return to normal by the end of this lesson."

Potion-making tended to get rather sweaty and greasy with all the fumes in the air, and contrary to popular belief Severus _did_ have daily showers – or, well, at least every other day and there was absolutely _nothing_ unhygienic with that. Several trusted, highly respected healers claimed that both skin and hair remained healthier with less intensive washing than most people had today.

Severus just didn't have the genes on his side and his hair had the habit of getting oily quickly. That didn't mix too well with potion making, and he spent an overbearingly part of the day in the stuffy dungeons, whereby his students only had to endure one or two hours a day. One of the many reasons he first and foremost applied to teach the Defense Against Dark Arts.

Every. Single. Year.

After growling out the instructions and making the ingredients to lesson's potion appear on the board with a flick of his wand, Severus stalked around the classroom, searching for those careless enough to not follow his instructions to the letter. Fools. Every one of them. Not an intelligent among the bunch.

Except for maybe Ganger.

Harry Potter was under his closest inspection, and his sharp, narrowed eyes watched him intently even as he moved through the classroom and scolded other students. Waiting for the mistake that was sure to come, and that might be the only thing to make this godforsaken day a little bit better.

Potter fidgeted as Severus passed him and practically hovered over his shoulder, critically eyeing the seething potion he stirred counter-clockwise – his movements a little too fast and jittery ever since Severus had gotten there. Severus relished in his nervousness.

He waited another few seconds, and –

 _Aha!_

"Potter," he said, and the boy stiffened. "Your potion is too dark in color."

"O-oh," said Potter.

The Ganger-girl tried to gesture to him, but Severus caught her eye and sent her a glance of warning – she turned back to her own potion, blushing.

"Do you know why that is?" said Severus.

"I – I put in too much rat-tail," Potter stuttered.

"You did?" Severus asked, joyous. This was turning out even better than he'd expected it to.

Potter wiped around, blanching. "It- it was a mistake!"

"Five points from Gryffindor, Potter," said Severus. "For not following instructions, being careless and _daydreaming_ in class." At his last word, he saw several students flinching guiltily.

Severus sighed.

He was about to examine Ganger's potion – a task sure to be proved less interesting and far less entertaining than to look at Potter's – when hands gripped into his cloak, stopping him.

As Severus turned around, Potter let him go immediately, as if he'd just been caught touching a forbidden object.

In a way, he had.

"Snape – I mean, Professor, sir!"

"Yes, Potter?"

"Uh, I-" Potter said, and then a Snitch seemed to suddenly be stuck in his throat, if memory served him right. He let out a few unintelligent noises. Severus fought against the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose.

 _How_ in the world did Lily manage to give birth to child such as this?

Then he was forced to recall the boy's father, and wished he hadn't asked himself such an obvious question.

"Do you have anything to say or is your sole purpose in life to stand there, looking stupid?" The Slytherins laughed, pulling a smirk to Snape's face.

"…yes," said Potter, blushing. "Uh, can I – that is, may I-"

Snape raised an eyebrow.

"Can I touch your hair?" Harry blurted out, face turning redder and more flushed than Snape had ever seen it before. Personally, he felt himself blanching. He waited for the laughter, but Potter remained utterly serious, if more embarrassed and nervous than he'd been his entire life. Severus could only stare at him. A few seconds later he had to fight a blush of his own and he tore his eyes of Harry's stupidly vividly green ones.

He was still amazed not even one student had laughed, and if not for the absolute silence he'd thought Potter's question had gone unheard.

He was just about to yell at Potter and take House Points from Gryffindor when a Slytherin girl further back cleared her throat awkwardly and almost whispered that she'd like to touch his hair, too. A few other mumbled agreements.

Potter smiled apologetically.

"Your hair looks, uh, good, sir," he said.

"FIFTY POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!" Snape growled and turned away from his students with a sharp twist, cloak billowing behind him as he returned to the board. When he had reached the front of the classroom he whirled back to face his students, an unpleasant sneer curling his lips to hopefully put off anyone from _ever_ making such a request again.

"Next time," Snape said, voice thick with malice, "someone opens their mouth to make any… _improper_ comment to my person or as much as breathes a word about my hair – flattering or otherwise," here Severus gave a pointed look to Potter, who at least had the decency to gulp, "that will be _one hundred_ points taken from their respective House."

There was a few quiet mutterings of 'Yes, Sir's but Severus took the time to look over his entire class – Gryffindors and Slytherins alike – to catch everyone's eyes to make sure no one had missed his words. A few of the more… besotted-looking girls he stared down until they diverted their gaze. He made a point to do the same with Potter, only he didn't know when to look away and Severus gave him up as a lost cause.

"Do I make myself clear?" he said sharply.

"Yes, Sir!"

"Good," he said softly. "Very good. Now... if you would please return to your potions!"

Harry Potter's gaze lingered for only a moment before he followed what the other had been wise enough to already do – turn back to his potion. Severus only happiness was that it was now burned beyond saving and Potter would have to start over from scratch. Even then, he wouldn't be able to finish it in time which meant he'd have no work to hand in from this class and Severus would be able to give him a zero.

He'd never gotten as poor results as he did that day when he dismissed his class and quickly decided that if he cared the least about his students' grades, he could never let a reoccurrence happen.

* * *

 **A/N** \- I absolutely love Snape. He's easily one of my favorite characters… only to be rivaled by Draco, who was the first character to really catch my attention. But yeah, I'm starting to think Snape is more awesome than him.

I have to admit, though, the combination of Harry and Draco beats even Snape. XD

Thank you for reading, and please review! :)


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